Mistress isnt ignoring me anymore. there is alot going on with the children so W/we didnt play this last weekend. i was read something on fetlife that rang true for me. M/s or D/s is not all about the physical aspect (play/sex). it is also about service and the intention of the heart. i love Mistress and i live to submit to Her will. i am just as happy submitting to Her torturing my tits as i am submitting to taking Her shoes off. my 24/7 submission to Her is from my heart, not just from the physical act of presenting my body for Her to punish.
Monday, September 22, 2008
today is officially the first day of autumn and the weather has been fitting for the last few days. Mistress told me that i must go through the rest of O/our storage and get rid of everything W/we don't need. i have been doing this along with deep cleaning the house. it is the start of cold season which has kicked my OCD tendencies into high gear. it has also aggravated my rheumatoid arthritis so my joints are a bit stiff and sore. sometimes it takes me a bit more time to complete my duties but i get them done. i am soo lucky that Mistress understands this and knows i am doing the best that i can.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
with U/us now having more alone time~Mistress has decided to put me through more training. one afternoon i was restricted to the bathroom. She had me take my clothes off. She then handed me the egg and told me to go into O/our bathroom and apply it to my clit until She said to stop. She also said i could cum when & how many times i wanted to-i just had to not make a sound while doing it. i also had to sit on the closed toilet seat and not fall off or move it in any way. O/our toilet seat pops off if there is a draft so i knew i wouldnt be able to move a hair. i went into the bathroom and sat, turned on the egg and put it to my clit. it felt really good but i wasnt able to really get into it because i was being careful to not make a sound or move. i started to feel myself cum so i braced my feet to the floor so i wouldnt move. i also put my free hand over my mouth so i wouldnt make a sound. i came and peaked out the door to Mistress to see if i was finished. She motioned for me to shut the door which meant i wasnt. i came 5 more times and with each one it grew harder and harder to not move or make a sound. Mistress was pleased with me and allowed me to play my favorite computer games :) thank you Mistress.
a couple days after that W/we were going through storage boxes and Mistress found an old motor for a battery charger. She got this evil grin on Her face and told me to bring Her the egg.
i brought it to Her and She had me sit down to watch Her splice the wires to the egg to the motor. She then handed it to me and told me to go try it out in the bathroom. i didnt have to stay in there. She just wanted me to put it on my clit, turn it on and come report to Her how it felt. i went into the bathroom,pulled off my pants & panties and turned the egg on. it vibrated my whole hand. i knew not to hesitate in doing as i was told so i put it up to my clit. my clit went "schwing" and my mind went "holy shit". i took it off, turned it off and put my pants and panties back on. i went back to Mistress and told Her how it felt. She smiled and had me put it back up.
W/we continued going through things and Mistress found a set of medical clamps. where She got them-i haven't a clue-but there they were. She came over and sat next to me. She grabbed my right breast and put the clamp on there. the pain was delicious. She twisted the clamp clockwise and counterclockwise and i felt my pussy getting wet. She unclamped it and reclamped it on another part of that tit. She repeated twisting it back & forth and i moaned in pleasure. She then grabbed at my nipple and tweaked it to make it hard. She took the clamp and clamped it to my nipple. the pain was almost unbearable. She then grabbed a rubber band and applied it to the clamp handle so She didnt have to keep Her hand on it. She told me not to move and kept it there for awhile. it was an intense mix of pleasure and pain. it was one of those "hurt so good" moments. She undid the rubber band and unclamped the clamp real fast. the pain always hurts worse on my tits when things are taken off than when they are put on. She then started tweaking the left nipple and put the clamp on. She didnt apply the rubberband but repeated the twisting and pulled on the nipple some. i almost came from the pain but i didnt since Mistress didnt give me permission. She kept twisting & pulling and it felt like She was going to pull my nipple off. logically i know that would never happen but it felt like it. when She took the clamp off my nipple looked mutated. i had marks all over my right breast with that nipple bruised and my left nipple was also bruised. Mistress had me lay down on my stomach to keep the nerves stimulated and hurting. She asked if i was wet and i said yes. after the pain subsided She let me sit up.
She asked if they still hurt and i said yes. She said she could take my mind off of my tits and proceeded to snap the bottoms of my feet with the rubberband. it was stinging like hell but i enjoyed it and it definitely took my mind off of my tits.Mistress then told me to get something off of the floor by the bottom of O/our bed. i laid down to get it and immediately felt a "swack" on my ass. i looked at Mistress and She had a hairbrush in Her hand that She was spanking me with. She spanked me a few times with the flat side. She then looked at the brush, turned it over and spanked me with the bristles side. the bristles made my ass sting. Mistress was spanking me in the same spot over & over. i looked at Her and told Her it was getting numb. She didnt like how i said it and got really angry with me. She said that making it numb was what She was going for and She didnt like me complaining about it. i tried to explain to Her that i was just trying to inform Her and wasnt complaining. She didnt want to hear it and told me the discussion was over. She told me W/we will talk about it again when She decides to-which is ok with me. She is the one in charge. i shouldve not have opened my mouth and let Her do what She was doing. i shouldve of waited for Her to ask me for my input. i know i am in trouble and Mistress is displeased with me. i am soo sorry Mistress :( i wasnt allowed to sleep in bed with Her that night after i was banished to the back porch for awhile. She was ignoring me for a couple days but now She is talking to me more. She knows that i hate being ignored-i would rather be whipped harshly. i have learned my lesson and still submitting to Her.
Has anyone else had their dom ignore them as punishment?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
i really goofed this morning. i woke up in a foul mood. i slept through the alarm and while making coffee i forgot to plug it in. i didnt realize it until i went to drink a cup before Mistress and i had to leave. when Mistress and i got to where W/we were going W/we found out W/we were really early...Mistress had remembered the time wrong. She was able to get in early anyways. i was still trying to wake up and Mistress came out and was raring to go. W/we started walking and i was diddle-dawdling, which is against the rules. Mistress told me to hurry and i answered i was-i just had the wrong tone in my voice. i looked at Mistress and She had that look in Her eye-i knew i had crossed the line. i tried explaining to Mistress that i was grumpy because i hadnt had any coffee. She said that the new rule is i am 100% responsible for everything that comes out of my mouth. She told me when W/we got home i was to immediately get into the crate naked.
when W/we got home, i took my clothes off and got into the crate. i had to sit with my legs crossed, my head down and my palms to my sides with the palms up. Mistress walked by the crate and locked it and told me not to make a sound. i was quiet for awhile. i then saw O/our dog chewing on herself and i said "stop it" before i realized i was saying it. Mistress came out and asked me "didnt i tell you to be quiet". i explained why i spoke to the dog. She said "i don't care, i told you not to make a sound and you will learn". She then got O/our heavy duty mister and sprayed me down with ice cold water. my nipples got really hard. to make it colder Mistress brought in a fan and put it on high on me. i stayed in position while feeling the freezing air on me. the fan was blowing my hair everywhere and a strand of it fell on my nipple. out of habit i went to pluck it off. my nipple was so sensitive that the feel of my fingertips made me "mmmmm". Mistress saw and heard and said "did i tell you that you could touch yourself?". i said no but i was getting a hair off of me and that my nipples were extra sensitive because i was soooo cold. Mistress said "you're cold,huh, well, i can fix that and you will learn not to touch yourself like that without my permission". She left the room for awhile and when She came back-i saw that She had the vibrating egg. now one thing about Mistress, She loves to take toys and "tim the tool man taylor them"~ Her mantra is "more power". She had taken off the original controls for the egg and had spliced it to a battery pack for more & bigger batteries. She handed me the egg and said "put it on your clit and dont you dare take it off until i tell you to". i took the egg and put it on my clit. She turned it on and i almost immediately came. it had soo much power that i felt the vibrations in my teeth. Mistress leaned against the wall and watched me. i felt myself getting ready to orgasm, i asked "may i cum Mistress". She said "not yet". i fought the urge to cum and felt like if i didnt cum that my head was going to pop off. i waited all that i could wait and asked again if i could cum. Mistress gave me permission to. i came and i came hard. my whole body tensed, shook and felt the rush of orgasm. i thought that i was done but when I looked up at Mistress She said "keep it on there". i kept the egg on my too sensitive clit. i moved it a bit to the other side but it hit a more sensitive spot. my eyes almost popped out from the feeling being soo intense. i felt myself on the edge of cumming again. i asked Mistress for permission and She said " cum if you want but you will not take it off of your clit until i say so, cum all you want". i came again but kept the egg on. i knew that if i disobeyed Mistress at this point, the punishment would be alot worse. with every orgasm-they became more intense. my legs were completely numb and i had to lay in the crate on my side. my fingers were numb from the vibrating so i placed my palm over the egg. i had to fold the egg into my pussy lips so it wouldnt slip out of my palm. when i did this-the egg vibrated my whole pussy, including my gspot area in my pussy. Mistress must have sensed it because She moved to get a better view of me. i started to cum while also having the sensation to pee which i knew meant only one thing-time to squirt. as i came i pushed from inside my pussy and i squirted all over my legs and the bottom of the crate. Mistress said "you're not done yet". Mistress loves it when i squirt and She loves watching me make myself cum. i moved around as much as i could so Mistress could see better. i pressed the egg with my palm harder into my pussy so it would vibrate even deeper in my gspot. it took only a few seconds for me to feel myself getting ready to squirt again. when i came i pushed again but instead of the orgasming starting to subside i felt one another one beginning. i was having multiple orgasms and with each one-i squirted more and more. i started to go into convulsive like shakes from sensory overload. i still had the frame of mind to keep the egg on my clit. Mistress asked "have you learned to watch your mouth?". i said "yes Mistress, please no more, i will watch my mouth". She said, "well i want to make sure you remember this so keep it on there". by this point the orgasms were starting to hurt. my clit was oversensitive and it didnt take much for me to cum. i kept the egg on my clit but my side was feeling cramped so i went to turn over, the egg hit another area of my clit and i grabbed a bar of the crate as i felt myself orgasming again. as i came my body tensed and i squirted some more. i told Mistress "no more please, please Mistress no more". She said "not done yet, keep it there". i rolled over on my other side and used my palm to move the egg to a less sensitive area~the area seemed to have more nerve endings then i remembered. i pressed the egg into it as Mistress watched. i felt myself starting to orgasm-it was a different kind of orgasm. as i came i felt an explosion from deep inside my pussy-i pushed and gushed a big pool onto the crate floor. i have squirted before but never gushed. Mistress said " have you learned your lesson". i said "yes,Mistress". She said "ok-next time you get mouthy you will be in here longer and the punishment will be worse".
She let me out and i asked permission to go and shower. She watched me shower and i could tell that She was really horny from watching me orgasm and squirt in the crate. the children are going to be home soon so i dont know what more She has planned. will keep ya posted.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
the children started back to school and i have been fall cleaning the house...cleaning it as much as i can when W/we are at home. my typical day is as follows:
5:30 am. i get up to walk the dog and start my coffee. i start the dishwasher from the night before.i do my morning checking & responding of personal email and then do some work on the computer for the organizations i work for...during which i drink a few cups of my strong coffee. the oldest child is generally up getting ready for school and we discuss what activities she has going on that day. she leaves at 6:45ish.
7 am. i get youngest up for school and while she is getting ready i finish up any computer work. i empty the dishwasher & discuss with youngest any activities she has going on that day. i feed her breakfast and she goes out to the bus at 7:45ish. i watch her from the window as the bus stop is right in front of our place. she is at the age now where she is wanting to be independent enough to stand by herself to talk with all of her friends but still see me looking from the window.
depending on what time W/we have to be somewhere-i wake up Mistress about an hour before W/we have to leave. i ask Her if She is in the mood for breakfast and if so-ask Her what She wants and i make it for Her. i serve Her in front of Her laptop while She is doing Her morning routine. i eat beside Her while also doing more computer work. W/we also chat about what W/we have to do that day. when Mistress is done-She hands me Her plate and i put dishes into the dishwasher . i walk the dog again.
W/we do our daily errands. when W/we get home, i ask Mistress if She is hungry and if She is i make Her something to eat. i will make me something also if i am hungry. Mistress eats lunch with a dr. pepper and i eat mine with a diet pepsi. when Mistress is done She hands me Her plate and i put the dishes in the dishwasher. Mistress then either relaxes while watching tv or takes a nap. it is generally during this time that Mistress will punish me for any infractions. if i am not to be punished then i use this time to clean up around the house. each day i focus on a specific room to deep clean. i walk the dog again.
2:30 the children get home from school and it is homework time. the youngest will read to one of us for 15-20 minutes and practice her writing for 15 minutes.
4:00 the oldest will have her computer time while the youngest goes outside to play. Mistress keeps an eye on her while i vacuum the entire house. She will also walk the dog with the youngest.
5:00 i start dinner and all daily chores are to be done. while dinner is cooking i check my computer to see if i need to do any work at that time.
6:00 dinner. during dinner we talk with the children about what went on that day and other things.
6:45 everyone is done by now. i clear the table, load up the dishes into the dishwasher and get it ready to start later.i also wipe down the entire kitchen with disinfectant wipes.
7:00 Mistress and i take O/our showers while the youngest has her computer time.
8:30 the youngest will take her shower and get ready for bed.
8:45ish i walk the dog again. when i get back in Mistress will turn down the house.
9:00 the youngest goes to bed and Mistress and i retire to bed with O/our door shut. W/we have a dry eraser board on O/our door so if the children want U/us to know something that is not 911 vital-they can write it on there for U/us to read later. W/we have the same thing on the fridge to leave messages for the children if W/we dont expect to be home when they return from school.
W/we do as Mistress wishes. wether it be play, internet surfing, watching a movie or whatever.
so that is my typical day. sometimes life happens & the routine goes out the window. even then the central focus of anything to me is Mistress and the children.
i havent had any infractions so i am really proud to not have displeased Mistress in any way :)
the other side of the coin is that there has been so much going on that W/we both have been too tired to play. i am not stressed about it. now dont get me wrong-i love it when Mistress ravages me. however there is more to O/our marriage that hot sex. i know once things settle down....Mistress will have me begging for mercy...not that She'd give in to me begging. the sex isnt over until She says its over....no complaints from me :)