HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

wishing everyone a safe & happy halloween.

seeing as today & tonight Mistress and i are going to be busy with family things. Mistress gave me my halloween treat early...with a trick. i had just taken a shower when Mistress told me to lay down on the bed on my back with my legs spread and to not move. She then proceeded to apply some sexual enhancement gel to my clit with the smirk She gets on Her face when She is up to something >:) the gel started making my clit tingly and very cool. i was already horny before She applied it and the gel made my clit that much harder. Mistress then brought out my favorite toy and told me to turn it up all the way and put it on my clit and keep it there until She said to take it off. i did as i was told. when the vibration hit my clit i almost came right then and there. Mistress then had me turn onto my side away from Her and i heard Her rummaging through Her toybox. i was into the glorious sensations on my clit when i heard a "whip" and felt the bullwhip sting on my ass. the feel of the whip with the sensations on my clit made me start tumbling into an orgasm. i asked Mistress if i could cum and She said i could cum whenever i wanted. She continued to whip my ass and my back. i kept cumming and each orgasm was more intense than the last. i few stings of the whip were a bit too painful but i never safeworded. Mistress sensed it and eased up a bit.

i heard the phone ring from where i was in subspace. Mistress told me not to make a sound as She answered the phone. it was a family member who needed us to help them with something. Mistress put the whip away and let me cum a few more times. i went and cleaned up and started to get dressed. i saw Mistress with the zip-ties. She proceeded to put a zip-tie really tight around my left nipple...and when i say tight...i mean TIGHT!!! Mistress then started laughing because my nipple started turning a deep purple immediately. She brought out the scissors and then after trying to cut the zip-tie off She said "here,you try to get it off i cant do it". i tried and couldnt. She then mentioned something about going to the emergency room. i started panicking and told Mistress i didnt want to go to the emergency room. i started crying "its going to fall off"

Mistress laughed and i then realized in my subspace haze that the whole thing was a joke. She snipped off the zip-tie and we finished getting ready and went to help our family member.

soooo.....how was your halloween???

beating me out of the blues

Mistress and i had some quality time today-She made sure of it. i had been feeling blue, out of it and found it hard to focus. it had been awhile since Mistress had inflicted delicious pain on me and i was needing it.Mistress had also been on edge as She hadnt been able to let off any steam by the same token.

we had our place to ourselves this afternoon-so Mistress gave me the look that it was time for me to get my beating. Mistress started out with punishing my ass by kicking it hard. Mistress knows i prefer my ass to be whipped but She will kick to make the pain more intense. She generally starts out slow but not today.i saw the look on Her face and knew She needed to beat me more than i needed Her to beat me. with the first kick i knew the pain was going to be intense. i was loving every minute of it. at first my ass was warm but then it grew hot. a few kicks caught me in the pussy by mistake. i gasped in surprise but then relished the pain that was making my juices start to flow. my ass was fire hot and i knew that there was going to be alot of bruises for awhile. i felt the endorphins start to kick in and was feeling all glowy.


Mistress then turned me around and pulled on my growing pubes. i thought maybe She had decided to just pull them all out to make my pussy bald again. a part of me was hoping not and a part of me was hoping She would. She let go and then proceeded to punch at my thighs. my ass was on fire and now my legs were being pummeled. the pain was almost unbearable but it was decadent.


Mistress then started on what i think is Her favorite-breast & nipple torture. i love it too. Mistress grabbed my left breast and twisted it hard while squeezing it. She does this thing where She will take a pinch of breast (or nipple) and put it between Her thumb and forefinger and tweak it really hard while squeezing as hard as She can. it feels like She is ripping a piece of flesh out of my breast (or nipple). that scares me which makes the pain more intense and heightens my enjoyment. Mistress let go of my boob and then grabbed at the nipple-first teasing it to make it rock hard and then pulling it while twisting it.


my vision started getting blurry and i was unaware of some of the things Mistress was doing to me. Mistress knew i was in subspace so She stopped and after we showered-we sat on our couch playing our favorite online games and watching some tv programs we like to watch. i thanked Mistress for my beating and She gave me a wierd smile. i asked Her "what?" and She didnt answer. i found out after a bit what She was smiling about. one thing She has been training me on is to not make a sound while i am being punished or disciplined. i guess a friend of mine had called when i was busy this morning and told Mistress she would call back at a specific time. Mistress didnt tell me but made sure i was home at that time.


my friend called when she said she would and so i began chatting with her and filling her in on what i have been up to. this friend of mine is very vanilla and doesnt know the full extent of Mistress's and my dynamic. Mistress knows this and so She knew this would be the perfect time to do what She had been training me to do. Mistress moved over closer to me on the couch when i was on the phone and laid Her hand across me and into my lap. i thought nothing of it and continued talking. next thing i knew-BAM-Mistress smacked Her hand into my breast and had a handful of it. She was squeezing it really hard and twisting it. i looked at Her and She mouthed to me to not make a sound and to talk to my friend. i did as i was told. Mistress let go and i thought She was done, but nope, She grabbed another handful and was twisting it all over the place. She did this several times and i did really good at not making any noise but talking to my friend. Mistress then grabbed again and dug Her nails into my nipple. i let out a "oooouuuccchhhiiieee mama". my friend asked "what?" and i told her the cat just scratched me. Mistress let out a chuckle and let go. just then a program was starting that Mistress and i love so i told my friend i had to let her go. Mistress and i watched our program and Mistress went to bed early because we have to leave before the crack of dawn to go out of town on business.


i am feeling alot better. my ass, thighs and tits are all bruised and marked. i love it when Mistress leaves marks on me. to me they are a token of my submissiveness to Mistress and a token of Her dominance to me. Mistress and i have been talking about the different titles in bdsm. i am Her submissive wife, Her property and Her slave as She has final say in everything. i only have say when She permits it. i do have equal say in our children and grandchildren because Mistress permits it. Mistress does not micromanage me and She loves that i am fiesty. i am only submissive to Her. i am respectful of other people but also independent and an alpha female. Mistress is one of but a few that have been able to quash the alpha in me-to top me and take my submissiveness from me. when i met Mistress i sensed in Her my dominant soulmate and She sensed in me Her submissive soulmate :)

i love you Mistress

my celebrity look-alikes

some of my readers have messaged me via fetlife and inquired on seeing pics of me. Mistress still restricts me from doing so. recently i ran across a website that compares your face photo(s) and the results come in percentages as to which celebrities the photo looks like. i compared several of mine and the top of the list always included thora birch, kimberly williams and missi pyle. Mistress thinks the thora birch is dead on of me when i was younger. She also says kimberly and missi do favor me in the face too. i didnt see it at first until i compared the photos and i do look alot like them. kinda wierd how the face i see every day is hard for me to see in the faces of others.

if i dont post before friday-i want to wish everyone a happy & safe halloween :)

7 random facts

while reading one of my favorite blogs-the author tagged all of her readers so here it goes:

* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.

1. i am a chocaholic-especially truffles, and only without nuts

2. i need coffee for my brain to function-and i mean STRONG coffee. (Mistress calls it mud)

3. my 2nd and 3rd toes are webbed together. it is congenital and hereditary.

4.i am a major germaphobe. i always use napkins to open doors and i sanitize the grocery cart i use to shop with. when i wash my hands Mistress says i look like a surgeon scrubbing in for surgery.

5. i am the black sheep of the family but the only one that still talks to every member of my family.

6. i was pooped on by a seagull flying overhead when i was 6 and ever since then i panic and cover my head when a bird flies over my head. Mistress gets a kick out of it :)

7. i think snakes & reptiles are cool but the site of a wild mouse/rat will have me climbing onto the tops of furniture.

if you read this and have a blog-consider yourself tagged :)

Mistress's inspirations from other blogs....

this past week Mistress indulged herself by reading some of the blogs that i read. on one particular blog She read that the m of that dynamic has forbidden the s from shaving anything at all. Mistress got Her evil smirk on Her face and said to me "you are not to touch a razor until I say so". i pleaded with Her to rethink it and She said to not say another word about it or the way She chooses to take the hair off will be more painful. i hate the feeling of hair. i am of sicilian descent so it doesnt take long at all for the hair to get long. i feel yucky, irritated and downright unsexy. i got snippy for a moment with Mistress in public the other day and when we got home She let me have it. She pinched, squeezed,punched & slapped me all over except my face. She almost pulled my left breast off when i touched Her out of reflex from the pain. Her eyes got really big and She said "what have I told you about touching Me?". the punishment went on for the better part of the day. Mistress let me take breaks to rehydrate myself and to use the bathroom. She let me know that She is displeased with me because i am not applying myself to be all that i can be. my bipolar and panic attacks have been effecting me and She is displeased i havent been eating enough from my anxiety or keeping my mouth in check when i am irritable from the bipolar. i am going in next week to get my meds re-evaluated and getting a complete physical which is way overdue. i hate doctors but Mistress insists i go and so i am.

anyhow-Mistress has also been looking at alot of bdsm equipment online and is now making some of them Herself. She already has home-made nipple clamps, restraints and a paddle. She also wants to make Her own leather whipping straps, floggers, canes and tack bra. i registered on the slave registry and Mistress and i are looking into getting our contract done and pick out a leash and collar for me. it will take awhile as Mistress hates rushing to do things when it comes to us. She likes us to take our time and enjoy each moment......so do i.

the tale of toys & the tidal wave

Mistress now has me off of orgasm denial :). She gave me permission to have toytime when She was out running errands on saturday. the children were gone so i had the whole place to myself. i was using the dolphin toy on my pussy and after i came a couple of times an idea hit me-"i wonder what it would feel like to use this and the vibrating egg on my pussy at the same time". now to remind you-Mistress did Her "tim the tool-man" routine on it and now has the wires safely spliced to a big plug for more power. the last few times the egg has been used on me i have squirted so i got out the usual towels W/we use to make cleaning up easier. i laid down on the towels and started with the dolphin toy again. it is my favorite as i know how & where to put it for maximum effect. the shaft part goes around and around so it stimulates my gspot just right. i was getting into it and started to feel an orgasm on the horizon. i plugged the egg in with my free hand and then applied it to my clit. oooooooh mmmmmmy goooooood. it felt so good that i felt myself instantly starting to cum. i didnt want to and held it off as much as i could. i pressed the egg harder into my clit so it would also vibrate into my gspot and i was rewarded with the exquisite sensation of needing to squirt. i let go and came and squirted like usual. while i was convulsing from cumming my thighs cramped together which pressed the dolphin toy & egg harder into me. i felt another orgasm hurdling at me like a freight train and i knew it was going to be a big one. i couldnt relax to get my legs open and my legs were to weak to stand up. all i could do was lay there. i held onto the bed so i wouldnt fall off (hate it when that happens). the orgasm hit and i felt my juices gushing onto my inner thighs. i just let it all out. as soon as that orgasm started to go away-another one was on its heels. with every orgasm i squirted more and more. all i could feel was the heavenly sensations in my pussy. i lost count of the orgasms and became unaware of my surroundings. i thought i was going to masturbate myself to death. is that possible? i could imagine the headline "nympho dies from masturbation". when i became aware of earth again i found that the batteries had died in the dolphin and the egg had somehow found its way away from my clit and onto the bed beside me. i was all tingly, glowing and really relaxed. i savored the moment for awhile to let the feelings come back to my body and limbs. then i started to feel wetness, underneath all of me, and it wasnt sweat. i thought maybe i had somehow knocked over my glass of water. however when i looked-the glass was still there with water in it. i sat up & looked and saw that the whole bed was soaked. oh shit-it wasnt water-it was my squirt juices. it was all over the bed, my legs and somehow some had even gotten onto the walls. i took a shower and stripped and made the bed. Mistress called while i was making it and She asked why i was changing sheets. i told her what i had done-She couldnt comment as She was on a bus. when She got home She looked at the sheets and said "looks like you had alot of fun". i told Her i had and thanked Her for allowing me to do it. thank you Mistress

???detachable nipples???

nice title-huh-well let me explain.

last monday night Mistress was doing more breast and nipple torture on me. She had punched, slapped and squeezed my tits all bruisy. it felt delicious and it made my pussy wet. to make me even wetter She started to squeeze and pinch my nipples. i had closed my eyes as She squeezed harder and harder. i felt the world start to melt away and was vaguely aware of my surroundings. Mistress tugged on a nipple which indicated to me to open my eyes. i looked down to see Her pulling to stretch out my right nipple and to twist it (like someone would twist a washcloth to wring out excess water). She twisted it as far as it would go. the pain was unbearable and i felt myself ready to cum. before i could ask for permission She started to pinch it really hard. i saw stars in my mind and felt my body turning to jelly. my pussy was quivering and the juices were running down my thighs. Mistress then twisted it harder while pinching it harder and my eyes almost popped out of my head. She realized i was in subspace and at my limit so She let go. i dropped onto my back on my side of the bed. apparently one of my knuckles lightly thumped the wall-however when i heard the sound the first thought that popped into my head was "did my nipple fall off"~trouble was...i said it out loud. Mistress started cracking up~She laughed so hard that tears were coming out of Her eyes. i didnt realize i had said it out loud~when i am in subspace my v-chip is disabled and i am unaware of what i say. She said She wished She had it on video so She could send it to an american funniest home porn show with the title "detachable nipples". She said i had the cutest serious face when i said it. its been almost a week and She is still walking by me and grabbing a pinch of nipple while walking away and saying "i need your nipple for awhile". will i ever live this down? has anyone else had an embarrassing moment during a scene?

Mistress also helped me break down and release alot of stuff this week. alot of things have been going on and i am the type that will deny how much it bothers me and keep busy doings things to avoid whats bothering me. alot of anger was building up and Mistress could sense it. She started to nitpick about things. She would ask me to do something and while i was doing it, She would ask me to do something else. then while doing the latter thing She would want to know why i wasnt doing the former. then when i would be trying to sleep She would knock on my forehead to wake me up. She also started to with-hold affection which She knows hurts my feelings and i get angry when my feelings are hurt. She kept this up for a few days-just mindfucking me. Mistress knows me better than i know myself and can get me to react just the way She wants me to. i finally reached my breaking point and became uber-bitch. She calls it "worse than a fighting pit bull mode" when i get that way. i got disrespectful and instead of ignoring me like She usually does-She got right in my face and scared me. i was backed into the cupboard and i asked Her to back up. She refused and kept telling me how pissed off She was. i got even more scared and then it happened-the dam broke and i just started crying. Mistress backed up and let me have my space. i cried hard for a few hours and felt alot better. i talked to Her about the things i had pented up. i know She would never abuse me. She just wanted to scare me to kick in my fight or flight response. i had no place to fly and i will never hit Mistress. She knew i would get scared which would help me move pass the anger and let things out.

now that that i feel better inside- i have the bug that is going around. i am sleeping on the couch-not as punishment but so Mistress wont get sick to just pass it back to me. She checks on me during the night and makes sure i push liquids and get alot of rest. wow-this thing turned into a book. well...the cough med is kicking in so i will bid y'all a good night :)

whips & clips

i wanted to peek in and say hi. Mistress has kept me busy with getting the house ready for colder weather. W/we have also been out of town alot handling family things. with everything going on the bdsm kinda went to nil with U/us. i am always Mistress's submissive but i started to miss O/our quality time. Mistress knows me like a book so on O/our way back into town-She stopped and bought a new bull whip for U/us to enjoy. She has already tested it out on my ass and it felt delicious. W/we were running errands today and Mistress bought a bulk set of alligator clips. the children are home this weekend so they will probably be used this next week.

well-Mistress is telling me its time to get off the net. i will update more at a later time.