after a couple days of talking about what went wrong-Mistress and i are now chalking it up to experience and moving on with what W/we learned from it. it wasnt soo much the physical aspect of what was going on. something about Mistress punching my arm triggered terror in me-terror i havent felt since my early childhood. my early childhood was very abusive and a big part of why i want to get my degree to work with disturbed children. luckily for me i was rescued from that hell and got intensive therapy for all that i had experienced and witnessed.
anyhow...Mistress was very concerned about retraumatizing me and was scared to physically punish me or even cause me pain (which i love) during play. it took U/us talking over the weekend for Her to realize that i dont view Her as abusive at all nor would i ever view Her as that. W/we are now back to normal- "O/our normal". on sunday night She caught me reading without my glasses-an infraction-so i was restricted from the computer,my cell, the phone and watching what i wanted on the tv all day monday.i also had to wear Mistress's leather jacket while W/we ran errands-the scent of leather makes me very horny and wet. Mistress forbid me to have toy time and She went everywhere with me to make sure i wasnt touching myself erotically.
i caught up on my reading after failing to be entertained by the sci-fi movie that Mistress was watching. i was going through computer withdrawals and was on edge from being so horny without release. Mistress made it worse by teasing my nipples and clit and then stopping right at the point i was going to orgasm several times.the last time i thought She was going to let me cum but right when i was going to ask permission to cum~She stopped and smiled Her wicked grin at me. i made a frustrated grunt and Mistress corrected my attitude by then inflicting massive pain on my breasts,nipples and ass.
i have added some things to the sidebar of my blog. the dragon represents Mistress and the fairy represents me. i have also added a daily fractal. i love fractals and cant help but staring at them. i am going through all of the gadgets and seeing which ones look interesting to add. my blog is a due process and always under construction.