i am feeling better now and getting back into my full routine. i felt bad earlier today because i had let a couple of my duties go to the wayside when i was sick. Mistress doesnt like me to stress but it was hard. i felt panicky because i was worried that i wasnt being "submissive" enough. being a submissive is more than just enjoying kinky hot monkey sex. i live to submit to Mistress's will. i live to wait on Her hand & foot. to fulfill Her every desire and pleasure. i was net surfing and saw a statement that really stuck out to me
" its not the action but the attitude".
it made sense to me. even if i finished everything Mistress told me-if i did it with a bad attitude then it would be displeasing to Mistress because of my attitude. even when She isnt in the mood for training-She is still Mistress because of Her air of dominance.
She fulfills the masochist part of me by inflicting pain that brings me pleasure. She knows just what parts to hit at the most delicious times. when She is punishing me, the pain is unbearable but what hurts worst is Her being displeased with me.
i am eager for the children to begin back to school so W/we can have more quality Mistress/ submissive time. W/we are done with summer company and need to have alone time to do as Mistress wishes. lock the doors and connect with each other on that level. just a little over a week more and the kiddies will be gone most days :).
W/we are still planning to move but are now weighing the pros and cons on each place W/we are thinking to move to. with the beginning of school and....and....the holidays just a few months down the road W/we dont want to jump before really thinking about it. the final decision is Mistress's of course but She is asking my opinions on everything.
tonight i am cutting Mistress's hair and then W/we are secluding O/ourselves to O/our room. i am not sure what Mistress has in mind. i havent done anything to cause an infraction so i am pretty sure i am not going to be punished.
will let You know if there is anything to share from tonight.