HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

i just wanted to peek in and wish everyone a "happy new year" from Mistress and i.

we are going to our son's house tonight to watch movies,play the xbox360 and watch 2009 come in together.

t.m.i. tuesday

i got this from luna's blog (http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/)

1. Last week was “The Most Wonderful time of the Year”, but what are your favorite 2008 memories?

the camping trip with Mistress and the children, the trips to the beach with family and the times Mistress and i had days & nights kid free at the house :)

2. What is the best thing you learned in 2008?

that there is nothing wrong with me getting older and that i don't have to be perfect all of the time.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good was your 2008?

about a 9

4. What is your wish for 2009?

What is your wish for someone else for 2009? my wish for me is to learn more patience with myself. for someone else~to be wealthy in love and poor in regret.

5. Where was the first place you ever passionately kissed?

first ever??? at the movies while watching "flashdance". first kiss for Mistress and i~right before we were intimate for the first time.

an update...

Mistress and i are almost back to normal~"our normal". we had a looong talk and laid all of our cards out on the table. i have been on orgasm restriction on top of trying to quit smoking and cutting down my caffeine consumption on top of the stress of the holidays. i felt like a time bomb ready to explode. Mistress has been having migraines-they are worse than what She had told me (She didn't want me worrying) so She hadn't been in the mood to play. i took Her not being interested personally and thought She wasn't happy with me as Her slave. during our talk She made it clear that if She wasnt happy with me~She would've released me and moved out. She hadn't been punishing me as much because of Her migraines. She didn't want to lose control and hurt me out of Her frustration of always being in pain.


we are now slowly beginning to play again and Mistress has been inflicting pain on me. i will elaborate on that in a later post. this morning i am a happy slave. Mistress and i are communicating and our marriage is better than it has been in awhile. the snow has melted all away with the confusion in our relationship. the children are still home on winter break and we are doing alot of family things together. Mistress is going back to "teen" sit for our friend for a few weeks after winter break. She will be here during school hours but will be spending nights there to make sure the teens don't destroy their house.


for new year's eve we are staying home with the kids~Mistress and the kids are going to be killing demons and zombies on the xbox360 while i make goodies to eat.


life is good now and i know 2009 is going to be even better :)

a subbie's meltdown

yesterday i woke up and something wasnt right. i couldnt put my finger on it. we had to run errands so i bundled up for the cold weather. Mistress could tell something was wrong. i wasnt feeling good inside and out. my eyes started to tear up on the bus. i wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and pull it in after me. all i remember feeling was a sense of doom and horror. when we got home i exploded and acted like....acted like a bitch from hell. Mistress and i had the worst fight we have ever had. i was completely in the wrong and Mistress put me in my place. i am feeling better now but ashamed at my behavior. i am soo lucky to have Mistress in my life. i know if i had to live with someone like me...i would've abandoned ship looooong ago.

Mistress and i are taking time off from the s&m part of our dynamic. we want to figure out why i pushed Her into a fight where She would physically restrain me so i would give in and stop with my nonsense. when She was restraining me i felt a wave of calm wash over me and then disgust at myself for topping from the bottom. i am still Her submissive slave and doing service for Her. i am trying to figure out in my head what is more important to me-the service aspect of being a submissive slave or the masochistic aspect. i am trying to find a balance between the two. i love doing service for Her but i find if i havent had pain in awhile i get a bit bitchy.

why???

stuffed like a turkey!!!

we had our christmas feast last night. i ate waaay too much and went into a turkey coma for the night. today we are staying home~playing the new xbox360 and waiting for the next storm to hit. i am going to curl up on the couch to read while watching Mistress kick ass on the game She is playing.

i have come across some new blogs and will be adding those to my blog list as time allows. the children are home for vacation so alot of my reading/posting is done late at night/early in the morning. the children are busy with what they got for christmas so i have some privacy.

i am still on orgasm restriction and its starting to get to me. my frustration level is down and i find myself biting my tongue alot with everyone. Mistress said She is thinking about me having toytime-it depends on my attitude.

well-time to refill my coffee and snuggle in again into my blanket. life is good today :)

Merry Christmas!!!

i am posting twice today since i am going to start cooking things for Christmas dinner this afternoon and wont be done until it is served.

i just wanted to wish everyone a

Merry Christmas!!!

t.m.i. tuesday

i am using this from luna's blog (http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/). i am still trying to figure out how to attach the link to her name-anybody know how???

1. What do present do you hope ends up under you tree? Mistress and i to have some alone time so we can do as Mistress wishes.
2. What present are you most psyched about giving (PLEASE be vague or ignore this question if the recipient reads your blog)? i already gave my present to Mistress~an xbox360.
3. DO you prefer to give or receive? i love to give :)
4. What is your favorite part off a sexual partner’s body? if i had to pick just one part it would be Mistress's mouth. Her kisses take my breath away
5. What is your favorite part your body - the one you hope a sexual partner will find or pay the most attention to? my breasts-they are very errogenous and Mistress pays plenty of attention to them :)

going to be careful for what i wish for....

i am going to start being more careful for what i wish for. i wanted a white christmas and its been snowing for the last week. Mistress and i had to go to our son's house to watch the grandkids while him and his wife did the last of their christmas shopping. we only meant to be there a few hours and ended up staying a few days. the blizzard that was supposed to hit saturday hit our area on friday. it finally started letting up yesterday (or so we thought) so we started to make our way home. halfway home while waiting for a bus~another storm hit. it took us 7 hours to get home~it usually only takes 45 mins and that includes all the walking and the bus rides. the snow is up almost to my knee. Mistress made it easier for me to walk by walking in front and having me step into Her prints. She would stop every 20 feet or so to look back and make sure i hadnt fallen. we were exhausted when we got home and went to bed early.

we have been too tired and busy to play and we both need it. today we are staying inside spending time with the kids and watching movies. i have a few books i am going to read. i am eager for Mistress to inflict pain on me. i am not sure what i need more-the ecstasy of pain or the ecstasy of cumming. i am trying to keep a good attitude. i woke up this morning and made Mistress a plate of crepe's and selected out some of Her favorite movies to watch. laundry is being done and the house is clean.

i was sad to read that caitlin passed away. i read her blog from time to time and was touched by her writings. reading the post by her master brought tears to my eyes. i don't even want to think about life without Mistress.

Mistress comes home today!!!

i am soo thrilled...Mistress is coming home today. i have really missed Her!!!

the kids are home from school because of the snow and the next couple of weeks they are home on winter break. we are going to coordinate their visits to their friends at the same time so Mistress and i can get some much needed alone time to play. i am aching for pain but will wait because i know Mistress will make it worth it. since i have been on orgasm restriction for awhile i have a feeling that when Mistress does allow me to cum-i am going to gush.

today we are making christmas goodies with the kids. Mistress also bought a couple of Christmas movies for us to watch with our tradition of watching "christmas vacation" every year. tonight i am cooking one of Mistress's favorites: my homemade bbq ribs with my homemade potato salad.

i am eager to see what Mistress wishes to do after the kids have gone to bed. She may just sleep since She hasnt slept good while She was away. i don't care what we do-i am just grinning ear to ear because She is home :)

thursday question

got this from luna's blog (http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/). i will try to do this every thursday.

What do you consider domestic service? Do you enjoy serving or being served in this fashion? What tips do you have for someone learning to love domestics?

domestic service to me is doing all of the housework and waiting on Mistress hand & foot. i also do alot of the paperwork and phone calls. it is up to me to make sure the house runs smoothly while keeping Mistress's rules in mind.

i enjoy doing the serving. it has always been a part of my personality to serve others. i get uncomfortable when Mistress serves me by making me soup when i am sick or doing something i am unable to because of a physical limitation. i know that Mistress only does what She wants to and its my job to keep my mouth shut. it still gives me an uneasy feeling though but i am learning to let it go.

tips??? what has helped me is the "flylady" website. she is a godsend!!! i also do little things for Mistress everyday to symbolize my submission and devotion to Her. little things like making sure Her favorite foods are always stocked, making sure there is always Her favorite reading material on Her nightstand, always making sure She has a beverage at room temperature within reach (too cold of things hurts Her mouth) and making sure Her psp is always charged. She never required me to do these things~they are just things i did on my own and i felt all warm & fuzzy when She took notice :)

christmas with coffee

Mistress gave me one of my christmas presents early-it is a coffee station that i can program to brew at a specific time and i can dispense my coffee with one hand. i am going to be getting some special coffee's, syrups and creamers so i can indulge my caffeine addiction.

today i had to go out and get some last minute shopping done. i didnt want to but Mistress insisted. i wasnt thrilled about going out into the snowstorm but Mistress said "do it bitch" so i did it. i hit some sales while braving the snow & wind. now i am home drinking my coffee and picking out books to read the next couple of days. we are expecting some more snow and colder weather. Mistress said since i did what i was told with a good attitude i can have the next couple of days inside the house. i am still on toytime restriction.

i bought Mistress some winter boots that She was needing. She mentioned that when they get dirty-She will have me lick shine them. i hope She was kidding-but will do it if She asks.

time to go snuggle into the blankets and read a book. i have a penchant for true crime books and have a few new ones to read.

t.m.i. tuesday

got this from luna's ( http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/) blog. i don't know how to have her name as the link yet-i need to study more about blogging me thinks.

1. What is the greatest age difference between between and a SO?

older than me by 20 years in a previous relationship.

2. What is the greatest age difference between between any sexual partner? same as # 1

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
our shopping is all done

4. What are the chances there will be a “naughty” present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
a very good chance :)

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
"mary did you know" by mark lowry

missing Mistress in the snow

woke up this morning to more snow. the kiddies are on 2 hour late schedule so i am waiting to wake them up while drinking my morning coffee. i need alot of it as i didnt sleep good last night since Mistress is away at nights now. i also had our youngest in bed with me and sleeping next to her is not for the faint hearted. she kicks, punches and also has to sleep horizontally across the bed and somehow manages to have all of her limbs still hitting me in that position.

i have a feeling i am going to be blogging more when Mistress is away to occupy my time. yesterday i was packing Her up and getting Her boots on. i was dragging my feet and She noticed. She asked what was wrong and i told Her that i was going to miss Her. She was touched by my sentiment and said She would miss me but She wouldnt be too far away and would visit as much as She could. its not that i rely on Her for every breath...Mistress also doesnt micromanage me and knows the house will run smoothly in Her absense. we have been apart before without it bothering me. i think why its bothering me now is that i am still getting over bronchitis and the weather is frigid. the bus schedules are all running late if at all. so if something were to happen-Mistress might be delayed or prevented from getting here. i know i am capable of handling any crisis that might arise-however it would be more comforting if She were here.


i am still on razor restriction and toytime restriction and Mistress also has delegated some things for me to accomplish while She is away. She mentioned to me that She wants the first weekend She is back to be kid free so i am wiggly with curiosity on what She has in mind.


i will keep you updated....

a lil' snow & update

we woke up this morning to snow on the ground. there is more on the way with below freezing temperatures so Mistress has restricted me to the house for at least today. i still am fighting bronchitis and Mistress has been forcing meds down my throat. i hate meds but know She is doing it for my own good. my asthma is really aggravated so i sound horrid. i still am in good spirits and have been reading and drinking alot of tea.
Mistress leaves tonight to go and house-sit for a friend. its not so much the house She is keeping an eye on but the teenagers that live there. the mother has to go out of state and so Mistress is going to be staying there at night to make sure the house stays in on piece. She is going to visit during the day as much as She can in this weather. i am still on razor restriction and Mistress has also put me on toytime restriction. i thought i had done something to displease Mistress and asked Her why i was on toytime restriction, She said "because I feel like it, you didnt do anything wrong". i am wondering what She is up to but i know better than to ask. She bought me a new package of batteries and put them where i can see them and forbid me from opening them.
we have taken in a pregnant tabby that we found abandoned outside. we have asked everyone in the neighborhood who she belongs to but no one has claimed her. she is ready to pop anytime so we are keeping her warm & fed until she has the kittens and then will find them good homes.
well...Mistress is awake now from sleeping in so i need to sign off to make Her breakfast.

my past bdsm illusion and my bdsm reality

this past week or so i have read about the illusion of bdsm on other blogs. it got me to thinking on what i thought M/s was when i began my journey of being a submissive and what my reality is now. as a young child i was the type that wanted to serve others. i loved doing things for other people as a way to show my love and devotion for them. i went through alot as a child but the hell i went through never diminished my need to do for others.



i first heard of bdsm while going to gay clubs. most of my guy friends were gay and some of them were heavy into the leather bdsm scene. i would go with them to parties where there were slaves being bound and whipped or flogged or both. my best friend at the time gave me the book "the story of o" and recommended that i read it. i did and couldnt put it down until it was finished. i was 18 at the time and i remember getting turned on by reading about o being trained. i remember thinking "i want to be trained~this is something i need". i talked to my friend and he educated me on the being safe in the scene. at this time i was also introduced to the writings of ayn rand and still believe in her philosophy that only i am responsible for my true happiness.



i had a few relationships and a marriage where we would experiment with bdsm but i never found anyone i could trust enough to completely submit to. after divorcing my oldest daughters father-i met a man who became my first dom.(at the time i still considered myself bi). he trained me for a few years. we didnt have a 24/7 arrangement as he was honest in his having no desire of wanting to live with a child in his house. his father passed away and he had to go back to spain to take care of his mother. i gave him back his collar and we parted on good terms. while being his submissive i started realizing that the bdsm portrayed in books isnt what happens all the time in real life~at least not my life.



i then had a dom who ended up being very abusive and he didnt respect my hard limits or my safewords. he shattered my trust issues and it took me alooong time to even think about wanting to submit to someone again. during this time i also found my attraction to men waning. i had always preferred women but found that in most cases at that time~men didnt even cause me to take a second look. then i met Mistress.



when Mistress and i met through mutual friends~you could say it was lust at first sight. i sensed in Her the perfect Dom for me. She noticed that anytime we would hook up-i would fold all of our clothes into neat piles. i would also take off Her shoes and socks and clean up after we ate. i didnt even realize i was doing it until She pointed it out when we were out eating with the friends that introduced us. one of our friends turned to Her and said " ----- dont you realize that ------ is a submissive". Her and i later talked about it and we shared with each other both of our pasts in bdsm. neither of us had ever had a 24/7 M/s relationship. we agreed to take it slow. Mistress is alot stronger than me and was worried about hurting me. i shared with Her that i wasnt only interested in it being just in the bedroom but wanted also to be Her service slave. we did some research online and both agreed that She is in charge of everything. i am allowed some input on certain things but She always has final say. our M/s dynamic is different than other people's and thats ok.



Her and i have been together for a few years and we have both learned alot about ourselves, each other and our bdsm reality. even though it would be ideal for our M/s life together to be like it is in books-the reality of life isnt fiction. we have had our rough patches like other couples. one thing i am thankful for is those rough patches brought us closer together. i have learned that i am always Her submissive slave even if we havent had any playtime together in awhile. i know now that being a submissive slave is not only my actions but my attitude. my attitude does suck at times and thats my fault. i am learning to talk to Mistress more often instead of letting things build to the point where its toxic for me and our relationship.



so what about my earlier ideas about what bdsm was all about??? my belief is those books are really good books...but what i have with Mistress is 100% better.

t.m.i. tuesday

i got this off of luna's log. i read her blog often and will try to do one each tuesday.

1. Do you consider sexy underthings a present for you or your partner?
Mistress buys me the sexy underthings as She isnt into wearing girly femme things.

2. What are 3 characteristics of “your type”? Have your best relationship(s) been with your type or when you have gone against it?
dominant, honest & caring. yes-my best is with my type. i have had a couple relationships with people that werent dominant and they went south really quick.

3. What is on your Santa list this year?
more rest for Mistress and i, good health for family & more alone time for Mistress and i

4. Generally speaking, who has historically had a higher libido, you or your partner(s)?
i am in the mood more but Mistress has the longer sustaining power.

5. The unsculptured female bush seems to have passed from fashion. What about men, do you think they need to trim and shave “down there”?
doesnt apply to me since i am a lesbian

another meme & an update

i am feeling better mentally but still have this dang cold & cough. i shared with Mistress my insecurities of Her leaving and She told me that if She was ever going to leave me~She would've a loooong time ago when we went through our roughest patch. She said i am stuck with Her and She is also stuck with me :)

Mistress is going out of town this weekend for a week to do some house sitting for a friend. i am going to miss Her :( She said She will call me so i can tell Her what i am up to. i am getting more into the christmas spirit. i have a surprise in mind for Mistress but will wait for Her to be out of town to do it.

here is a meme i found on another blog that i read. sorry i dont have alot of smut to write about. i am sure when we are feeling better~ playtime will commence.

1. Is sex best in the morning, afternoon, or night? - morning

2. On which side of the bed do you sleep? - right side

3. Pork, beef, or chicken? - beef

4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke? - yes-when pregnant with both children.

5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on? - left

6. Candles or incense? - candles

7. Do you dance when no one is watching? - on occasion

8. Did you play doctor when you were little? - oh yes >:)

9. Stove top cooking or microwave? - stove top (microwave for popcorn)

10. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty? - car

11. Shower or bath? - shower

12. Do you pee in the shower? - no

13. Mexican or Chinese food? - mexican

14. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? - aggressive

15. Do you own sex toys? - oh yes

16. Corn dogs or hot dogs? - cheese dogs

17. Your favorite restaurant? - la palma

18. What did you have for lunch today? - not yet but will probably have soup since i am currently sick

19. When did you last fall down? - a few months ago over the shadow of a tree (Mistress still laughs about that one)

20. Have you ever wished someone were dead? - no

21. Love or money? - love

22. Credit cards or cash? - cash-credit cards for emergencies only

23. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t? - oh yes

24. Oreos or vanilla wafers? - oreos

25. How do you like your steak cooked? - grilled with sauteed mushrooms

26. How do you like your eggs cooked? - over easy

27. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight? - yes

28. Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel? - camping

29. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery? - minor surgery

30. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money? - the head?...there isnt enough money in the world

31. Would you rather have lice or an STD? - who thought of this question-neither

32. What’s your favorite hard candy? - butterscotch

33. Ever been to a strip club? - yes

34. Ever been to a bar? - yes

35. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? - yes

36. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere? - no

37. Kissed someone of the same sex? - yes

38. Had sex in the car? - yes

39. Had sex at the beach? - yes

40. Had sex in a movie theater? - yes

41. Had sex in a bathroom? - yes

42. Have you ever been in an “adult” store? - yes

43. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with? -dont have a friends list.

44. Have you been caught having sex? - no

45. Have you ever kissed a stranger? -no

46. Does anyone have naughty pictures of you? - Mistress

a sick slave's insecurity

this bug has really kicked me off of my ass. i have been doing my best to keep up with my duties and havent been able to complete all of them. Mistress hasnt complained but i still feel like i am not holding up my end of things. i am one of those that gets sick from watching a cold medicine commercial. that is why i like to keep things clean. my philosophy is that if you can't eat off of it then its not clean. Mistress calls me a germophobe. i carry around hand sanitizer everywhere. i am not "monk-ish" but close.

anyhoo...since i have been resting up alot (Mistress's orders) i have been doing alot of thinking (Mistress has smelled alot of smoke-lol). I am starting to slide into the big 4-0...as much as i have tried to deny it...it bothers me that i am getting older. i still get carded when buying alcohol which always feels great. i have just noticed more wrinkles and my hair has alot more grey lately. i could care less what other people think but i often wonder if my aging is affecting how Mistress sees me. Mistress says i am being ridiculous when i share my insecurities that She is no longer attracted to me. logically i agree but lately insecure thoughts have been roaming around my head. i have been feeling more down lately which has sunk my self esteem. next week i am going in to get my bipolar meds adjusted~that should help with my moods and lift my self esteem back to normal.

the children have also been sick and now Mistress is coming down with the bug. needless to say Mistress and i havent had any quality time. our oldest daughter had a talk with me the other day. she had asked me to do something she could do for herself. i told her i was in the middle of something and could she do it herself. she got a little pissy and mentioned that i dont do everything for her or her sister but i do everything for my wife. i told her that i dont do everything but i do alot because that is how we want our marriage to work. she just rolled her eyes at me and walked away. i know teens will be teens so i didnt get mad or defensive. our oldest daughter may know that our marriage isnt like alot of other marriages. she is 17 and very intuitive. she doesnt ask so we dont tell. our youngest hasnt a clue. she is almost 9 and we are very careful to be more guarded around her since she is at an impressionable age. we don't even let her watch the news. our grown son and his wife know some of our dynamic but not all of it.

well-its 3:30 am and i need to try to get some more sleep. this cough has been keeping me up. i took some syrup and its starting to make me sleepy. i have been looking for my hot taudy recipe but havent found it yet. does anyone know of a good recipe to knock out this cold???

a christmas meme

i am still sick and thought maybe doing a christmas meme would help with my feeling blah. i am too lazy to tag anyone so if you are reading this...consider yourself tagged :)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? gift bags

2. Real tree or artificial? real tree

3. When do you put up the tree? day after thanksgiving

4. When do you take the tree down? january 2nd

5. Do you like eggnog? yummy~yes

6. Favorite gift received as a child? a horse. she was an appaloosa i named "queenie" and she was my best friend until the day she died.

7. Hardest person to buy for? our oldest grandson

8. Easiest person to buy for? our youngest daughter

9. Do you have a nativity scene? yes-it was a gift from my late nana. its inside a huge snow globe that plays "away in a manger".

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? depends on who it is.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? a wool sweater at a party at a former job~it was beautiful but i am allergic to wool :(

12. Favorite Christmas movie? "a christmas story" ("you'll shoot your eye out")

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? we shop all year around.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? yes~see #11

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mistress's home-made dressing

16. Lights on the tree; colored or white? colored

17. Favorite Christmas song? "grandma got run over by a reindeer" & "mary did you know"

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? this year we are staying at home

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? family gifts on christmas eve and then from santa christmas morning

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? blue & white

23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Mistress's dressing, my daughter inlaws cauliflower cheese dish & my homemade fudge.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? a nice whipping to end the year right.

25. Who is most likely to respond to this?whoever is in the christmas spirit.

sniffle....

what i have been fearing has happened...i have a bad cold virus and there is nothing i can do about it. i woke up this morning coughing, sore throat and bad congestion. even though i am feeling under the weather i am feeling better than i have in awhile.

Mistress and i had quality time last night. i didnt even know She had planned it until i was sitting here on another website and She laid into me out of nowhere. She grabbed my nipple and pulled really hard while twisting. i barely had time to recover when She grabbed ahold of my neck and clamped down on it. She kept up the tit torture while squeezing my neck harder. the pain in my nipple was getting my pussy wet with excitement. i didnt have any air to breathe so i did the tap out signal so Mistress knew to let go so i could breathe. She let me take a breath and clamped down again. She did this a few times and then signaled for me to get my ass into our room.

i got up and went to the bedroom. Mistress started in with the tit torture again. the pain was yummy and my clit was buzzing and aching to be touched. Mistress sensed my excitement and gave me a kick right into my pussy. i almost came from the pain. She kept kicking me and turned around to heel kick my pussy. after one kick instead of putting Her foot down, She kept it right on my clit and rubbed it. it felt so good that i started moaning with pleasure. i was on the verge of having an orgasm when She pulled Her foot away. She continued punishing my nipples while my juices ran down my inner thighs. She turned me around and started scratching my ass and thighs. She dug Her nails into my ass and put Her ear by my mouth so She could hear me whimper in pain & pleasure. i needed to cum with a vengeance but She refused to give me permission. i went to sleep afterwards and slept good all night. then i woke up and felt like i was under attack by ninja germs. can a slave get sick from orgasm denial???

i still have an ache to cum but i will wait for Mistress's permission. we don't play while one of us is sick to avoid passing germs back and forth.