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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

cleaning & changes....

i am going to be cleaning & revamping my blog over the next couple of weeks. i am changing some of the music, maybe the layout and skimming down the bloglist. there are some blogs that have gone dormant that will be taken off to make room for blogs that are more active.

Mistress has also told me to simplify my life. with school and everything else going on-my insomnia is back. i have tried to be super-slave while also trying to be super-mom, super-grandma, and super-friend. Mistress and i talked about it. She was blunt in telling me that it is impossible for me to take care of everyone and everything all of the time. i am to do my duties and take care of Her and me. whatever other people(kids/grandkids/friends) can do for themselves-so be it. i was soo stressed about shit that it was toxic to me, my ability to be Mistress's slave and Hers and my marriage. She knows me soo well that She knew long ago what was going on with me...while i hadn't a clue. i asked Her why She didnt tell me. She said it was because i would've scoffed at the idea and i would've been even more adamant at running myself ragged. She allowed me to get far enough to the end of my rope to listen to Her. She knows me better than i know myself. i am stubborn in that i am always insisting on helping others while refusing help from others. Mistress has set the limit for me that i am to only to do my duties and what other things She tells me and then take time for myself each day. it will be different but i trust Mistress that this is what is best for me and our marriage. Her and i are forever so what matters most is what is the healthiest thing for us.'s almost 3 in the morning and i need to try to get some more sleep to get up for school.


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