3rd times the charm...

Yes...I did it again. However instead of waiting to punish me Mistress immediately turned me around and had me bare my ass. Instead of hitting different spots on my ass...She spanked the same spot over and over. Which each spank the stinging turned into an intense burning. Tears came to my eyes but I didnt make a sound. When Mistress was done She whirled me around so I was facing Her nose to nose and said very clearly "DO NOT DO IT AGAIN!!!" She then banned me from the internet for the rest of the night.

Mistress has been inspired by Kaya's latest blog post. If I get out of line again I will be writing sentences while sitting naked on uncooked rice. The idea of that completely squicks me out as I wont sit on simple dirt without a blanket underneath me. Im now making a diligent effort to engage my brain before my mouth.

On a brighter note Im now learning to cook different cuisines. Last night I made california rolls for the first time. They looked nothing like they do in the stores/restaurants but Mistress assured me that they were delicious. Tonight Im making steaks with stuffed mushrooms. Ive made those before of course but tonight Im trying a new recipe for the mushroom filling. Im also getting back into baking again. Mistress told me friday...while looking around at the local sales....that She is getting me new baking pans along with new cake decorating supplies. She knows I cook from the heart. I love baking the cakes for our families birthdays and our get-togethers with friends and family.

Im going to be revamping this blog. I have come across some features I would like to try out and see if I like them. Some readers have messaged me on why I dont post personal pics...Mistress forbids it. I do have one pic of me on a fetish site...only people on my friends list are allowed to see more pics. I thought it a bit odd that someone would ask that question...ah well  :::shrugs:::

I do notice that alot of people read my blog but few comment. Dont be shy...go ahead and introduce yourself. Im going to be implenting the widget so readers can ask questions. I will answer within the guidelines set down by Mistress.

I hope everyone is staying safe & healthy in all the crazy weather everywhere. (((HUGS)))

-Bella

kinky sex link blog

i was invited by Lady Evyl to share my blog on kinky sex link. after getting Mistress's permission~i accepted. i am adding the banner to my sidebar and will be making a post later on today or tomorrow morning.

cleaning & changes....

i am going to be cleaning & revamping my blog over the next couple of weeks. i am changing some of the music, maybe the layout and skimming down the bloglist. there are some blogs that have gone dormant that will be taken off to make room for blogs that are more active.

Mistress has also told me to simplify my life. with school and everything else going on-my insomnia is back. i have tried to be super-slave while also trying to be super-mom, super-grandma, and super-friend. Mistress and i talked about it. She was blunt in telling me that it is impossible for me to take care of everyone and everything all of the time. i am to do my duties and take care of Her and me. whatever other people(kids/grandkids/friends) can do for themselves-so be it. i was soo stressed about shit that it was toxic to me, my ability to be Mistress's slave and Hers and my marriage. She knows me soo well that She knew long ago what was going on with me...while i hadn't a clue. i asked Her why She didnt tell me. She said it was because i would've scoffed at the idea and i would've been even more adamant at running myself ragged. She allowed me to get far enough to the end of my rope to listen to Her. She knows me better than i know myself. i am stubborn in that i am always insisting on helping others while refusing help from others. Mistress has set the limit for me that i am to only to do my duties and what other things She tells me and then take time for myself each day. it will be different but i trust Mistress that this is what is best for me and our marriage. Her and i are forever so what matters most is what is the healthiest thing for us.

well...it's almost 3 in the morning and i need to try to get some more sleep to get up for school.

t.m.i. tuesday

got this from luna's ( http://blog.the-iron-gate.com/) blog. i don't know how to have her name as the link yet-i need to study more about blogging me thinks.

1. What is the greatest age difference between between and a SO?

older than me by 20 years in a previous relationship.

2. What is the greatest age difference between between any sexual partner? same as # 1

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
our shopping is all done

4. What are the chances there will be a “naughty” present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
a very good chance :)

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
"mary did you know" by mark lowry

a little update & mild rant...

not feeling really in the mood to blog so much. not sure if its the weather, the bug going around the house or the fact that my rheumatoid arthritis is back with a vengeance. my laptop still is in the shop so i only have privacy in the early morning to blog, read other bdsm blogs or go on any of the bdsm sites i frequent. i am trying to comment on other blogs more after my morning coffee.

i have been busy around the house getting it spring cleaned for the holidays. the ra has slowed me down a little and i get tired alot. i have also been forgetting alot-lost my cell phone in the house and it must be dead because when i called it-i dont hear a ring. my mission today is to find the thing.

Mistress has been really patient due to the ra....although something last night bugged me. i was deep frying some hashbrown patties for Her. my hands were stiff and was having problems grasping the patties with the tongs. Mistress told me She would do it...i started to insist i could do it and then She gave me "that look" so i handed over the tongs. i hate it that i am not up to par. Mistress still corrects me when She senses an attitude in my voice but She is treating me with kid gloves when it comes to domestic service when the ra is restricting my movements. i still insist on putting Her shoes on & taking them off...even though it takes me more effort to get up off the floor afterwards.

i am calling to get a new doctor tomorrow. my current/soon to be former doc is a quack. he states that even though my records say that i have had ra since i was young and my blood work says i have it (the numbers on my bloodwork are high but he says not high enough for me to see a specialist) any complaint that i have...he diagnoses it to me getting older (i am 38) and that i am overweight (i have lost 100 lbs in the last 18 mos. and the pain is worse now than ever). sorry about the rant...

anyhooo....hopefully soon my laptop will be fixed and i will have better medical care so i can be the bestest slave i can be.

back to "normal"

after a couple days of talking about what went wrong-Mistress and i are now chalking it up to experience and moving on with what W/we learned from it. it wasnt soo much the physical aspect of what was going on. something about Mistress punching my arm triggered terror in me-terror i havent felt since my early childhood. my early childhood was very abusive and a big part of why i want to get my degree to work with disturbed children. luckily for me i was rescued from that hell and got intensive therapy for all that i had experienced and witnessed.
anyhow...Mistress was very concerned about retraumatizing me and was scared to physically punish me or even cause me pain (which i love) during play. it took U/us talking over the weekend for Her to realize that i dont view Her as abusive at all nor would i ever view Her as that. W/we are now back to normal- "O/our normal". on sunday night She caught me reading without my glasses-an infraction-so i was restricted from the computer,my cell, the phone and watching what i wanted on the tv all day monday.i also had to wear Mistress's leather jacket while W/we ran errands-the scent of leather makes me very horny and wet. Mistress forbid me to have toy time and She went everywhere with me to make sure i wasnt touching myself erotically.
i caught up on my reading after failing to be entertained by the sci-fi movie that Mistress was watching. i was going through computer withdrawals and was on edge from being so horny without release. Mistress made it worse by teasing my nipples and clit and then stopping right at the point i was going to orgasm several times.the last time i thought She was going to let me cum but right when i was going to ask permission to cum~She stopped and smiled Her wicked grin at me. i made a frustrated grunt and Mistress corrected my attitude by then inflicting massive pain on my breasts,nipples and ass.
i have added some things to the sidebar of my blog. the dragon represents Mistress and the fairy represents me. i have also added a daily fractal. i love fractals and cant help but staring at them. i am going through all of the gadgets and seeing which ones look interesting to add. my blog is a due process and always under construction.

sooo thankful to Mistress

Mistress is soo thoughtful of me. i was allowed to get a new wardrobe for my trip next week to see one of my longest bff's. Thank you Mistress :) i love you soo much and am soo fortunate to have you as my Mistress & wife.

Mistress insists on staying home to tend to the animals. my friend and i have known each other since i was 10~she knows of Mistress and my m/s dynamic. my friend is vanilla but we have always accepted each other as is. i am going to be gone all next week but will call Mistress to tell her what i am up to throughout the day. today i have been doing a really deep cleaning of O/our place so Mistress can let most things go until i get back.

Mistress & i have also decided W/we want to live out in the country. W/we have had enough of no privacy in the city. W/we are looking at a few places and are looking for a big enough place for family & for O/our fun.

i have also been learning how to do more things with this blog. there have been plenty of times i have screamed at the pc cause i have buggered it up somehow. from the numbers of the visitor ticker~i know plenty of people are reading it & i want to thank you. you are all welcome to comment on anything i write-good or bad. i just had to put in comment moderation because of a couple comments that i deemed inappropriate and would really offend other people in the lifestyle.

i will be gone the 21st-26th and will write all about my trip when i return. i also hope to catch up on reading my fave blogs that i have listed in the sidebar. i am always open to reading other blogs so if you have one-feel free to comment and leave me a link. W/we do have children & O/our grandchildren are over on occasion~so if your blog contains explicit pics, they will be viewed after bedtime.