This is what I wanted and still want....

This week started out really bad. I was in a funky mood and instead of saying our safe-word so I could take a time out...I let things pile up and I had an angry outburst while Mistress and I were running errands.

She is not pleased with me and let me know my punishment is going to be more severe than any before. She is waiting for our company to leave this time next week to give me my punishment. I am doing my best to make it up to Her...but to no avail so far.

She reminded me that this is what I had asked for and agreed to when She collared me on New Years. She is absolutely right...this is what I consented to and She isnt forcing me to remain Her slave. I know I can put a stop to this at any time but I dont want to. Her dominance helps me feel secure and safe. Even though I dont understand why She says and does things sometimes...I know She always has my best interest at heart.

I have a very strong personality and I speak my mind more often than not...however I have always had a severe yearning to submit...to have someone dominate me. Someone I could trust with my life and know that even during moments of extreme pain....they would never do anything that would really hurt me in any way.

I have found that person in Mistress. Not only is She my Mistress but She is my best friend, lover, wife,my primary, the co-parent of my daughters and the one person who knows me better than I know myself. I am confident I'm not going to enjoy my punishment but I know it will deepen my submission and Mistress knows best.

3rd times the charm...

Yes...I did it again. However instead of waiting to punish me Mistress immediately turned me around and had me bare my ass. Instead of hitting different spots on my ass...She spanked the same spot over and over. Which each spank the stinging turned into an intense burning. Tears came to my eyes but I didnt make a sound. When Mistress was done She whirled me around so I was facing Her nose to nose and said very clearly "DO NOT DO IT AGAIN!!!" She then banned me from the internet for the rest of the night.

Mistress has been inspired by Kaya's latest blog post. If I get out of line again I will be writing sentences while sitting naked on uncooked rice. The idea of that completely squicks me out as I wont sit on simple dirt without a blanket underneath me. Im now making a diligent effort to engage my brain before my mouth.

On a brighter note Im now learning to cook different cuisines. Last night I made california rolls for the first time. They looked nothing like they do in the stores/restaurants but Mistress assured me that they were delicious. Tonight Im making steaks with stuffed mushrooms. Ive made those before of course but tonight Im trying a new recipe for the mushroom filling. Im also getting back into baking again. Mistress told me friday...while looking around at the local sales....that She is getting me new baking pans along with new cake decorating supplies. She knows I cook from the heart. I love baking the cakes for our families birthdays and our get-togethers with friends and family.

Im going to be revamping this blog. I have come across some features I would like to try out and see if I like them. Some readers have messaged me on why I dont post personal pics...Mistress forbids it. I do have one pic of me on a fetish site...only people on my friends list are allowed to see more pics. I thought it a bit odd that someone would ask that question...ah well  :::shrugs:::

I do notice that alot of people read my blog but few comment. Dont be shy...go ahead and introduce yourself. Im going to be implenting the widget so readers can ask questions. I will answer within the guidelines set down by Mistress.

I hope everyone is staying safe & healthy in all the crazy weather everywhere. (((HUGS)))

-Bella

Punished....

i am not sure what got into me today but i went way over the line with Mistress. i got mouthy several times and didnt heed Her "warning" look. The last time i got mouthy Mistress gave me a pardon because i was soo ill. i got a little to full of myself and forgot the rule of always being respectful to Her.

my punishment was a spanking....and not a pleasurable one but i know thats the point. She had me lay down on the bed...i knew not to move and She left a huge handprint on my ass...which is still stinging. She promised if i got out of line disrespectful again, my whole ass would be stinging. i am going to do my best to not test that limit again.

i live to submit to Her so i dont understand why i went so far in things. Mistress wasnt angry with me...She never punishes me when She is angry...but She is disappointed. i am going to start doing check-ins with myself to figure out where my attitude is coming from.

does anyone else get out of line and not know why???

tens unit???

Mistress got me up bright and early the other morning and told me to get dressed because we were going out for a walk and a light breakfast. all was going well until the bus was late and i started feeling grumpy from the lack of my usual couple cups of espresso strong coffee first thing in the morning. Mistress asked what was wrong and in my caffeine deprived haze-i got mouthy and told Her exactly what was wrong. She wasnt amuzed to say the least with my attitude. She asked me rhetorically why i had forgotten my place. i tried explaining to Her that She knows i am grumpy before my coffee. i was confused and asked Her why i was in trouble since She has overlooked it before. She explained to me She overlooks it when we are at home but i know the rule of always being respectful when we are out in public. i knew i was in the wrong and apologized. She informed me that i was going to be punished after She thought about it. i let it go and we went out to breakfast. we then went to the dollar store where Mistress picked out rope, plastic red & blue clothes clips. She was looking at the spatulas for awhile but commented to me that we had enough at home and She still wanted to work in the whip on me. i kept envisioning myself being bound, clipped and whipped for the better part of the day. needless to say i was not looking forward to going home.

we finally made it home and Mistress had the look in Her eye that let me know that the time to be punished was near. the phone rang and i heard our teen answer it-she then came and knocked on our door and let us know that her bff had arrived in town early and they were wondering if she could come over a day early to visit for a week. we said ok and Mistress told me that i was basically saved from what She had in mind due to us having company but that She would figure out another way to punish me that was more discreet. She let me know later that evening that before we took off the next morning-She was going to put enhancement gel all over my clit and pussy for me to wear while we were out. i did a mini-laugh until i saw the look in Her eye and i realized She was serious. i got a bit angry at Her for being soo devious and clever. it is very hard for me to keep a straight face and not make a sound when i am aroused. i didnt sleep that good from staying up and strategizing on how i could be oblivious to the gel and not let on to anyone that i was aroused. Mistress also let me know that this punishment did not absolve me from being bound, clipped and whipped. that would happen after our company was gone.

the next morning Mistress put the gel on and i felt it tingle. Mistress told me to get dressed and get ready to go. i was mentally trying to ignore the sensations until we were outside and the wind gusted through me. the second the wind hit my crotch-my clit went "schwing" and my legs started turning to rubber. Mistress asked me what was wrong with a smirk on Her face. i whispered to Her that i just needed a moment. She denied my request and told me to start walking. i did as i was told. i made it through out the morning and afternoon ok. Mistress cracked up when She saw that i was so aroused that i had a wet spot in my pants. Mistress received a package that was a tens unit. She informed me that She is going to try it out on my pussy at Her discretion. i am a bit nervous about it. She has experience with them but i dont. does anyone have experience with them?

Mistress's inspirations from other blogs....

this past week Mistress indulged herself by reading some of the blogs that i read. on one particular blog She read that the m of that dynamic has forbidden the s from shaving anything at all. Mistress got Her evil smirk on Her face and said to me "you are not to touch a razor until I say so". i pleaded with Her to rethink it and She said to not say another word about it or the way She chooses to take the hair off will be more painful. i hate the feeling of hair. i am of sicilian descent so it doesnt take long at all for the hair to get long. i feel yucky, irritated and downright unsexy. i got snippy for a moment with Mistress in public the other day and when we got home She let me have it. She pinched, squeezed,punched & slapped me all over except my face. She almost pulled my left breast off when i touched Her out of reflex from the pain. Her eyes got really big and She said "what have I told you about touching Me?". the punishment went on for the better part of the day. Mistress let me take breaks to rehydrate myself and to use the bathroom. She let me know that She is displeased with me because i am not applying myself to be all that i can be. my bipolar and panic attacks have been effecting me and She is displeased i havent been eating enough from my anxiety or keeping my mouth in check when i am irritable from the bipolar. i am going in next week to get my meds re-evaluated and getting a complete physical which is way overdue. i hate doctors but Mistress insists i go and so i am.

anyhow-Mistress has also been looking at alot of bdsm equipment online and is now making some of them Herself. She already has home-made nipple clamps, restraints and a paddle. She also wants to make Her own leather whipping straps, floggers, canes and tack bra. i registered on the slave registry and Mistress and i are looking into getting our contract done and pick out a leash and collar for me. it will take awhile as Mistress hates rushing to do things when it comes to us. She likes us to take our time and enjoy each moment......so do i.

tit torture & other training

with U/us now having more alone time~Mistress has decided to put me through more training. one afternoon i was restricted to the bathroom. She had me take my clothes off. She then handed me the egg and told me to go into O/our bathroom and apply it to my clit until She said to stop. She also said i could cum when & how many times i wanted to-i just had to not make a sound while doing it. i also had to sit on the closed toilet seat and not fall off or move it in any way. O/our toilet seat pops off if there is a draft so i knew i wouldnt be able to move a hair. i went into the bathroom and sat, turned on the egg and put it to my clit. it felt really good but i wasnt able to really get into it because i was being careful to not make a sound or move. i started to feel myself cum so i braced my feet to the floor so i wouldnt move. i also put my free hand over my mouth so i wouldnt make a sound. i came and peaked out the door to Mistress to see if i was finished. She motioned for me to shut the door which meant i wasnt. i came 5 more times and with each one it grew harder and harder to not move or make a sound. Mistress was pleased with me and allowed me to play my favorite computer games :) thank you Mistress.

a couple days after that W/we were going through storage boxes and Mistress found an old motor for a battery charger. She got this evil grin on Her face and told me to bring Her the egg.

i brought it to Her and She had me sit down to watch Her splice the wires to the egg to the motor. She then handed it to me and told me to go try it out in the bathroom. i didnt have to stay in there. She just wanted me to put it on my clit, turn it on and come report to Her how it felt. i went into the bathroom,pulled off my pants & panties and turned the egg on. it vibrated my whole hand. i knew not to hesitate in doing as i was told so i put it up to my clit. my clit went "schwing" and my mind went "holy shit". i took it off, turned it off and put my pants and panties back on. i went back to Mistress and told Her how it felt. She smiled and had me put it back up.

W/we continued going through things and Mistress found a set of medical clamps. where She got them-i haven't a clue-but there they were. She came over and sat next to me. She grabbed my right breast and put the clamp on there. the pain was delicious. She twisted the clamp clockwise and counterclockwise and i felt my pussy getting wet. She unclamped it and reclamped it on another part of that tit. She repeated twisting it back & forth and i moaned in pleasure. She then grabbed at my nipple and tweaked it to make it hard. She took the clamp and clamped it to my nipple. the pain was almost unbearable. She then grabbed a rubber band and applied it to the clamp handle so She didnt have to keep Her hand on it. She told me not to move and kept it there for awhile. it was an intense mix of pleasure and pain. it was one of those "hurt so good" moments. She undid the rubber band and unclamped the clamp real fast. the pain always hurts worse on my tits when things are taken off than when they are put on. She then started tweaking the left nipple and put the clamp on. She didnt apply the rubberband but repeated the twisting and pulled on the nipple some. i almost came from the pain but i didnt since Mistress didnt give me permission. She kept twisting & pulling and it felt like She was going to pull my nipple off. logically i know that would never happen but it felt like it. when She took the clamp off my nipple looked mutated. i had marks all over my right breast with that nipple bruised and my left nipple was also bruised. Mistress had me lay down on my stomach to keep the nerves stimulated and hurting. She asked if i was wet and i said yes. after the pain subsided She let me sit up.

She asked if they still hurt and i said yes. She said she could take my mind off of my tits and proceeded to snap the bottoms of my feet with the rubberband. it was stinging like hell but i enjoyed it and it definitely took my mind off of my tits.Mistress then told me to get something off of the floor by the bottom of O/our bed. i laid down to get it and immediately felt a "swack" on my ass. i looked at Mistress and She had a hairbrush in Her hand that She was spanking me with. She spanked me a few times with the flat side. She then looked at the brush, turned it over and spanked me with the bristles side. the bristles made my ass sting. Mistress was spanking me in the same spot over & over. i looked at Her and told Her it was getting numb. She didnt like how i said it and got really angry with me. She said that making it numb was what She was going for and She didnt like me complaining about it. i tried to explain to Her that i was just trying to inform Her and wasnt complaining. She didnt want to hear it and told me the discussion was over. She told me W/we will talk about it again when She decides to-which is ok with me. She is the one in charge. i shouldve not have opened my mouth and let Her do what She was doing. i shouldve of waited for Her to ask me for my input. i know i am in trouble and Mistress is displeased with me. i am soo sorry Mistress :( i wasnt allowed to sleep in bed with Her that night after i was banished to the back porch for awhile. She was ignoring me for a couple days but now She is talking to me more. She knows that i hate being ignored-i would rather be whipped harshly. i have learned my lesson and still submitting to Her.

Has anyone else had their dom ignore them as punishment?

crate time...punishment

i really goofed this morning. i woke up in a foul mood. i slept through the alarm and while making coffee i forgot to plug it in. i didnt realize it until i went to drink a cup before Mistress and i had to leave. when Mistress and i got to where W/we were going W/we found out W/we were really early...Mistress had remembered the time wrong. She was able to get in early anyways. i was still trying to wake up and Mistress came out and was raring to go. W/we started walking and i was diddle-dawdling, which is against the rules. Mistress told me to hurry and i answered i was-i just had the wrong tone in my voice. i looked at Mistress and She had that look in Her eye-i knew i had crossed the line. i tried explaining to Mistress that i was grumpy because i hadnt had any coffee. She said that the new rule is i am 100% responsible for everything that comes out of my mouth. She told me when W/we got home i was to immediately get into the crate naked.

when W/we got home, i took my clothes off and got into the crate. i had to sit with my legs crossed, my head down and my palms to my sides with the palms up. Mistress walked by the crate and locked it and told me not to make a sound. i was quiet for awhile. i then saw O/our dog chewing on herself and i said "stop it" before i realized i was saying it. Mistress came out and asked me "didnt i tell you to be quiet". i explained why i spoke to the dog. She said "i don't care, i told you not to make a sound and you will learn". She then got O/our heavy duty mister and sprayed me down with ice cold water. my nipples got really hard. to make it colder Mistress brought in a fan and put it on high on me. i stayed in position while feeling the freezing air on me. the fan was blowing my hair everywhere and a strand of it fell on my nipple. out of habit i went to pluck it off. my nipple was so sensitive that the feel of my fingertips made me "mmmmm". Mistress saw and heard and said "did i tell you that you could touch yourself?". i said no but i was getting a hair off of me and that my nipples were extra sensitive because i was soooo cold. Mistress said "you're cold,huh, well, i can fix that and you will learn not to touch yourself like that without my permission". She left the room for awhile and when She came back-i saw that She had the vibrating egg. now one thing about Mistress, She loves to take toys and "tim the tool man taylor them"~ Her mantra is "more power". She had taken off the original controls for the egg and had spliced it to a battery pack for more & bigger batteries. She handed me the egg and said "put it on your clit and dont you dare take it off until i tell you to". i took the egg and put it on my clit. She turned it on and i almost immediately came. it had soo much power that i felt the vibrations in my teeth. Mistress leaned against the wall and watched me. i felt myself getting ready to orgasm, i asked "may i cum Mistress". She said "not yet". i fought the urge to cum and felt like if i didnt cum that my head was going to pop off. i waited all that i could wait and asked again if i could cum. Mistress gave me permission to. i came and i came hard. my whole body tensed, shook and felt the rush of orgasm. i thought that i was done but when I looked up at Mistress She said "keep it on there". i kept the egg on my too sensitive clit. i moved it a bit to the other side but it hit a more sensitive spot. my eyes almost popped out from the feeling being soo intense. i felt myself on the edge of cumming again. i asked Mistress for permission and She said " cum if you want but you will not take it off of your clit until i say so, cum all you want". i came again but kept the egg on. i knew that if i disobeyed Mistress at this point, the punishment would be alot worse. with every orgasm-they became more intense. my legs were completely numb and i had to lay in the crate on my side. my fingers were numb from the vibrating so i placed my palm over the egg. i had to fold the egg into my pussy lips so it wouldnt slip out of my palm. when i did this-the egg vibrated my whole pussy, including my gspot area in my pussy. Mistress must have sensed it because She moved to get a better view of me. i started to cum while also having the sensation to pee which i knew meant only one thing-time to squirt. as i came i pushed from inside my pussy and i squirted all over my legs and the bottom of the crate. Mistress said "you're not done yet". Mistress loves it when i squirt and She loves watching me make myself cum. i moved around as much as i could so Mistress could see better. i pressed the egg with my palm harder into my pussy so it would vibrate even deeper in my gspot. it took only a few seconds for me to feel myself getting ready to squirt again. when i came i pushed again but instead of the orgasming starting to subside i felt one another one beginning. i was having multiple orgasms and with each one-i squirted more and more. i started to go into convulsive like shakes from sensory overload. i still had the frame of mind to keep the egg on my clit. Mistress asked "have you learned to watch your mouth?". i said "yes Mistress, please no more, i will watch my mouth". She said, "well i want to make sure you remember this so keep it on there". by this point the orgasms were starting to hurt. my clit was oversensitive and it didnt take much for me to cum. i kept the egg on my clit but my side was feeling cramped so i went to turn over, the egg hit another area of my clit and i grabbed a bar of the crate as i felt myself orgasming again. as i came my body tensed and i squirted some more. i told Mistress "no more please, please Mistress no more". She said "not done yet, keep it there". i rolled over on my other side and used my palm to move the egg to a less sensitive area~the area seemed to have more nerve endings then i remembered. i pressed the egg into it as Mistress watched. i felt myself starting to orgasm-it was a different kind of orgasm. as i came i felt an explosion from deep inside my pussy-i pushed and gushed a big pool onto the crate floor. i have squirted before but never gushed. Mistress said " have you learned your lesson". i said "yes,Mistress". She said "ok-next time you get mouthy you will be in here longer and the punishment will be worse".

She let me out and i asked permission to go and shower. She watched me shower and i could tell that She was really horny from watching me orgasm and squirt in the crate. the children are going to be home soon so i dont know what more She has planned. will keep ya posted.

back to "normal"

after a couple days of talking about what went wrong-Mistress and i are now chalking it up to experience and moving on with what W/we learned from it. it wasnt soo much the physical aspect of what was going on. something about Mistress punching my arm triggered terror in me-terror i havent felt since my early childhood. my early childhood was very abusive and a big part of why i want to get my degree to work with disturbed children. luckily for me i was rescued from that hell and got intensive therapy for all that i had experienced and witnessed.
anyhow...Mistress was very concerned about retraumatizing me and was scared to physically punish me or even cause me pain (which i love) during play. it took U/us talking over the weekend for Her to realize that i dont view Her as abusive at all nor would i ever view Her as that. W/we are now back to normal- "O/our normal". on sunday night She caught me reading without my glasses-an infraction-so i was restricted from the computer,my cell, the phone and watching what i wanted on the tv all day monday.i also had to wear Mistress's leather jacket while W/we ran errands-the scent of leather makes me very horny and wet. Mistress forbid me to have toy time and She went everywhere with me to make sure i wasnt touching myself erotically.
i caught up on my reading after failing to be entertained by the sci-fi movie that Mistress was watching. i was going through computer withdrawals and was on edge from being so horny without release. Mistress made it worse by teasing my nipples and clit and then stopping right at the point i was going to orgasm several times.the last time i thought She was going to let me cum but right when i was going to ask permission to cum~She stopped and smiled Her wicked grin at me. i made a frustrated grunt and Mistress corrected my attitude by then inflicting massive pain on my breasts,nipples and ass.
i have added some things to the sidebar of my blog. the dragon represents Mistress and the fairy represents me. i have also added a daily fractal. i love fractals and cant help but staring at them. i am going through all of the gadgets and seeing which ones look interesting to add. my blog is a due process and always under construction.

discovery of a hard limit

Mistress was proceeding to punish me. She used the cherry switch to whip my back, ass and legs. She hit harder with every lash and left many welts. My skin was screaming "NO" but i kept silent and dare not move away for fear of making the punishment worse. Mistress grabbed for a breast and didnt get a good grip-for some insane reason i smirked ~ which made Her grab at it harder and twist it while pinching. my eyes bulged out from the pain but i kept silent and gave Her my look of submission of looking into Her eyes and then looking down. She let go of that breast. i thought the breast torture was done but then She grabbed my nipple and twisted it so hard i thought it was going to tear off. She whipped me some more and did some more breast torture. the punishment hurt like hell~what brought it to a screeching halt for now is She was punching my legs and arms. at first it hurt and i kept quiet-then She punched my arm a little harder which wasnt really hard-however something about the last punch scared the shit out of me. a wave of terror swept over me and i just burst out crying and had to get away. i wasnt scared that Mistress would ever abuse me-NO WAY- i just felt a sudden urge to fight or flight. i am definitely not going to ever strike Mistress so i ran into our bathroom crying. Mistress was confused and i was screaming that i was scared and i didnt want Her to punch me like that ever again. after awhile i calmed down and Mistress and i are taking this afternoon off to do Dom/sub aftercare and communicate on my reaction. punching is now a hard limit. i told Mistress i know She would never abuse me and that i still trust Her. this is the first time i have ever had a reaction like this. i am feeling bad for not controlling my emotions better. Mistress says She understands and there is no need to keep explaining myself. the worst part is how i screamed at Mistress and made it seem She had done something abusive.
has anyone else had a similar reaction with their dom/me. any feedback is appreciated.

busy,busy,busy

this morning i realized i hadnt blogged in a few days. my punishment is over for now...it has been post-poned. W/we have had company all week and now have grand-children over this following week. Mistress is not letting me forget my place and gives me a look on occasion to let me know that even though She isnt currently punishing me~She hasnt forgotten that i have a punishment coming. i have been doing my best to do all i can to make up to Her the fact that i was a smartass and disrespected Her. She also pinches my breasts and nipples when we have our sporadic moments alone to also remind me of that. i tend to let things (from the stress of other people's bullsh!t) build and vent but that is no excuse for talking to Her the way that i did. i am working on other ways of dealing with that stress than taking it out on Her.

Mistress and i have started our profiles on fetlife. not too sure what i think of it so far. i have joined a couple groups and post when i have something to add. i have had a few dom's contact me but i just delete the messages. they apparently are unable to read since my profile clearly states that i wont correspond with any dom's without Mistress's consent. funny that they are able to write to me but havent written Mistress.

Mistress and i have been busy going through things to get them packed so when W/we do find a place to move-most of the work is done. it is amazing how much stuff W/we have accumulated in the time that W/we have been here. i am a self-admitted pack rat~Mistress put Her foot down and so the things i dont need have been thrown away. She has also let me know that when W/we move She has plans to make it so i can be punished wether W/we have company or not. Mistress is very inventive so i am imagining She is going to maybe soundproof a room that She has the only key to. She invents Her own things to punish me with and She wants to either have or build a workshed for more privacy to make such things. W/we will also probably be taking another run to our favorite adult store for things to reward me with. i have been hearing alot of good things about the hitachi wand and i am eager to try it out.

has anyone tried out the hitachi and care to leave me a comment on if it lives up to its reputation?

which is worse......

the waiting for the punishment or the punishment itself? Mistress had me off the internet last night and i was exiled to a small corner of the bed to sleep on which wasnt very comfortable. today i was required to do all the household duties i hate the most on my hands and knees. i thought that was the end of my punishment but Mistress began whipping me with a leash and pinching my breasts and nipples really hard. i am not permitted to utter a sound during punishments but i was yelping in pain inside my head. with every lash i felt like my back and ass were on fire. when She squeezed my breasts i thought they were going to fall off. my nipples went numb from all the pain she inflicted on them. Mistress was interrupted by company knocking on the door. it is hot today but She told me to wear a shirt and pants to cover the marks She inflicted. i had to sit so my back didnt touch any furniture. when company left She let me know that the punishment wasnt over and She had plans. She brought out out the restraints i hate because they dont allow me any leeway to move when i am in them. She told me She is going to teach me to not be a smartass to Her. She again pinched and twisted my breast really hard and refused to let go for awhile. She also told me that a new rule is when i ask if the punishment is over-i will be punished for asking. She is watching a program on her laptop and She gave me permission to get on mine. i am on pins and needles wondering when my punishment will commence. i know its going to hurt like hell and not a good hurt. i can still feel the welts on my back and my breasts and nipples are all bruised up. i havent had the oppurtunity to see if the anal toys have been moved. She knows i hate Her to use them on me without lube. it is not a hard limit-just something i dont enjoy. i wish i could figure out what possesses me sometimes to be a smartass and disrespect Mistress.

going to be punished.........

what is wrong with me? i snapped at Mistress today and i am now isolated in my room. She refuses to talk to me after She sent me in here. She refuses to tell me how She is going to punish me later.

well...She just came in and said to get off the net & turn my laptop off.

lesson learnt

yesterday was better. when i woke up i was still feeling down by not only displeasing Mistress but by also Her having to punish me the way She did to get my head out of my ass.

when She first hit my ass with the broom i looked at Her and knew it was time for me to be punished. i stood still as she hit my ass hard and didnt utter anything. i knew i was in the wrong and the pain was anything but erotic. she then flicked and swatted at my nipples and i bit my lip to remain quiet. W/we were outside in the rain and my nipples were rock hard from the cold. the pain She was inflicting on them sent lightning bolts of searing pain all throughout my tits and down into my toes. my mind was screaming "RED" but i knew not to say it or the punishment would be worse. Mistress was displeased with me and She had every right to be. when She was done i looked at Her and the look of disappointment on Her face hit me harder than my punishment. i cursed at myself in my head for taking my bad attitude out on Her. i gave Her space as She showered and watched Her movie. She didnt really say too much to me but She showed me the switch to let me know that if i continued i would get a worse punishment. Mistress has a way of making things that feel soo good during Her rewarding me feel like hell on earth when i have displeased Her.

She let me sleep in the bed with Her and after O/our following morning routine She rewarded me with the cherry switch for not letting the pain & bruises from my punishment get in the way of my duties. when i was being switched my whole body got warm-starting from my nipples and pussy on out. i feel so connected to Mistress when She is rewarding me. She left quiet a few welts on my back and ass.i love it when She leaves marks on me. they remind me of my gift of submission to my soulmate. it felt good that all was forgiven.

W/we ran errands in the late morning to early afternoon. W/we went to dinner and a movie with friends. W/we saw the new movie "x-files:i want to believe". i wont give away what happens but the suspension was making me fidgety and Mistress warned me to sit still or i would sit elsewhere by myself as punishment. W/we came home and had a quiet evening with the children. i have resolved to myself to be more careful in the future to check my attitude when it comes to Mistress. She admires the fact that i speak my mind but what i did was beyond that. i hope that this will be one of a few posts about punishments. *keeping fingers crossed*

punishment

today was not such a good day. blame it on pms, the heat or maybe its a full moon-i woke up in a foul mood today. my patience was very thin and i was a bit short with adults today-including Mistress. i failed to heed Her looks and as punishment i had to help Her do alot of the outside work. i hate working outside cleaning up animal waste and clearing out spiderwebs. i was acting up again so She proceeded to hit me in the ass hard with a broom and flick my nipples really hard. i am not allowed safewords during punishments so i just stood there until She was done. my punishment hurt like hell but it hurt worse knowing i had displeased Mistress. i helped Her shower and showered after She gave me permission. when i was drying off in our room She showed me the cherry switch and gave me a look that enough was enough. She then started watching a movie which indicated to me that my punishment is in the past but i needed to leave Her alone.

She is letting me sleep in the bed tonight so i am out of trouble.

do any other subs just have bad days without explanation?

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