a case of the blues

for some reason this year i am not really in the christmas spirit. i am usually in the spirit right after halloween but this year i feel indifferent. to be quiet honest i have been indifferent about alot of things. my libido is down (a rarity) and i have been moody, as in i am easily moved to tears. i think i have shared before that i am bipolar-i religiously take my meds and get enough sleep & eat as healthy as i can. i have just fell into an abyss over the last few weeks. i am calling tomorrow to make an appointment to see if i need an adjustment in my meds.

Mistress has been real patient with my crying. i wont go into details of the discussion-but She calmed my fear that She doesnt see me as an emotional burden and is not leaving. i am keeping up with my duties and i am allowed more free time to recharge myself. Mistress decided we are staying home for christmas and wont have other people over. i am soo grateful to Mistress for that. all of our christmas shopping is done. i have more to write about on other things but it is time to go watch a movie with Mistress.

later taters!!!

Zip-ties

when W/we went camping last month Mistress bought zip-ties in bulk for U/us to take & use if necessary. it wasnt until this past weekend that i noticed they were sitting on top of one of O/our bookshelves in O/our room. why they caught my attention was everything else W/we had taken with U/us camping was put back into O/our storage closet right after W/we returned from camping. Mistress is now looking at them and then looking at me. the thought of Her using them on me really has my juices flowing. i wrote to her on an erotic dream i had about them. Her cousin is visiting us so they will have to wait. Mistress knows i am titilated and my libido is soaring. yesterday in the moments W/we had alone She would flick and tease my nipples and in bed this morning She was teasing my clit while pulling my hair. she didnt allow me to touch myself and hasnt granted me permission to have toy time. i am aching for release but will wait for Her permission.