worried...

this weekend has been a roller coaster. my doctor is weaning me off of some meds for my bipolar and anxiety to start me slowly on some other ones that have less side effects. needless to say i have been more emotional. Mistress calls it my "exorcist" mode. yesterday was our anniversary of when we became a couple. we went out to the same restaurant we did where we had "the talk" as we do every year on january 10th. Mistress didn't want to eat and i was upset and took it personal that She didnt want to celebrate our anniversary. i have a habit of jumping to conclusions. Mistress enlightened me that Her stomache hasnt been keeping down anything..at all. i knew She had been having some heartburn but i thought it was just the meds She is taking for Her migraines. i won't go into detail about what we talked about but i found out that Her health issues are more serious than what She had shared with me. now i am worried...Mistress told me not to but that is like asking a dog not to scratch at a flea.

i finished my meal and we came home and She let me know She is not happy with how i didnt give Her the benefit of the doubt. we got the "story of o" for us to read...Mistress is reading it first. tonight She is teen sitting and i am still on toytime restriction. i feel bad for my attitude the last couple of days. why Mistress didnt haul off and smack me to correct my attitude...i don't know. She told me to think about what i had done and what i can do to make sure it doesnt happen again. that is exactly what i am going to do...while trying not to show how worried i am about Mistress.